From Victim to Warrior

When we feel stuck, frustrated, anxious, scared, under-appreciated, over-worked or simply alone and unsupported it is easy to slip into victim mode. The sense of hopelessness or helplessness may add to “black or white” thinking and cause us to write stories in our head that simply aren’t true. They are constructs of our imagination since nobody knows the future.

But the feelings are real, the emotions are valid and deserve loving attention. Mindful self-compassion and self-empathy are needed, which is a very different from going into victim mode. Instead of saying to ourselves that we don’t have any options we can compassionately let the feelings just be there, and experience the sensations without the added story.

Then we can activate the warrior, the supporter, the loving mother or elder who can help us look at things differently. The warrior asks: “How I can help you right now? What do you need in order to get your strength and optimism back?”

“Do I need to remind you how fabulous and strong you really are… how far you have come… and what you have accomplished?”

We may feel that we don’t have a choice in that particular moment, but we do! We can change our thinking, we can label a situation differently: as if we were helping a good friend or loved one through a tough situation by providing them with the bigger picture.

This take practice. Life can be challenging. But life is also just this moment, this feeling, this sensation, this thought. Realizing this may enable us to move from contraction to expansion, both emotionally and physically.

Here’s my invitation to you: Next time you feel stuck or hopeless get up, go outside, look at the sky and open your arms wide. This will create a welcome relaxation for the overactive mind and bring you back to your heart space, where your inner wisdom resides.